The fear of failure, some experts have called it a fundamental or primal fear found in all humans. Whether or not it’s a primary fear, it’s so common that it’s the basis of or inherent in all motivational or inspirational seminars, as well as being the topic of thousands of books. Much has been said and written about the fear of failure, for good reason.
It holds many people back from achieving their goals and dreams. The average person avoids success because they’re afraid they’re going to fail at the things required to achieve it. There are several reasons why the fear of failure is debilitating. One of the reasons, of why people pass up success, is that they don’t understand the lessons of failure.
The process of failing is often misunderstood. Achievers understand failure, they don’t like it, but they’ve learned to value it. One of the key characteristics of successful people is that they have the desire and ability to learn. They view a setback as an opportunity to gain knowledge and grow.
They ask themselves productive questions. What did I do correctly and how can I make it better in the future? What did I do incorrectly and how can I make it better in the future? Successful people look for logical answers that produce useful insights, both positive and negative, which then lead to an action plan. Here’s an example.
Joe made a client presentation and was surprised when it didn’t result in a sale. He reviewed the presentation and determined that his information was solid and easy to understand. However, he’d been overconfident and failed to connect the benefits of the product to the client’s needs – a fundamental error. Joe created an action plan to meet with the client again and created a pre-sales checklist to avoid making the same mistake in the future.
Unsuccessful people ask non-productive questions. The answers to these questions are emotionally based, instead of logically based. Often, no useful information can be obtained from these answers. This blocks the person’s ability to learn a lesson from the experience, making forward momentum difficult, usually impossible. Here’s another example.
Steve made a client presentation and was surprised when it didn’t result in a sale. He asked himself unproductive questions (Why can’t I do anything right? Why do these things always happen to me?). He got answers he wasn’t able to use (I’ll never get this. The client is out to get me.). The plan formulated from these answers is – There’s no use in trying. The opportunity to learn from the lesson of failure is lost.
Success, in spite of the fear of failure, is a hallmark of achievers. They don’t seek it out, but they don’t avoid it either. C. S. Lewis said it well, “Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. One fails forward toward success.”
